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Friday, April 30, 2010

The 3 Doors To Wisdom! (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

 My dearest friends,

Hope you are all doing awesome. Here is the life lesson that
I would like to share with you. The author is unknown.

A King had, as only son, a young Prince, brave, skillful 
and intelligent. To perfect his knowledge of Life, he sent 
him by the side of an Old Wise Man.

"Bring Light to my Path of Life", the Prince asked.

"My words will faint away like the prints of your steps in 
the sand”, the Wise Man answered. However, I want to give you 
some indications. On your Path, you will find 3 doors. Read 
the rules written on each of them. 

An irresistible need will urge you to follow them. 
Don't try and get away from them, because you would be 
condemned to live again, ceaselessly, what you have avoided. 
I may tell you no more. 

You have to feel all this deep in your heart and in your flesh. 
Go, now. Follow this path, right in front of you. "

The Old Wise Man disappeared and the Prince entered 
the Path of Life.

He was soon in front of a big door, on which one could read:

"CHANGE THE WORLD".

"It was my intention indeed”, the Prince thought, “because 
if some things please me in this world, others greatly displease 
me." 

And he began his first fight. His ideal, his ardour and his 
power urged him to confront himself to the world, to undertake, 
to conquer, to model reality according to his desires. 

He found there the pleasure and the dizzyness of the conqueror, 
but no peace in his heart. He managed to change some things but 
many others resisted to him. Many years passed.

One day, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him: 

"What have you learnt on your path?" 

"I have learnt," the Prince answered, “ how to discern what 
is within my power and what is without, what depends on me and 
what does not depend on me".

"That's good!”, the Old Man said. “Use your strength to act 
on what is within your power. Forget what's beyond your power." 
And he disappeared.

A bit later, the Prince was in front of a second door. 
He could read on it :

"CHANGE THE OTHERS".

"It was my intention indeed”, he thought. “The others are 
a source of pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction, but also, 
of pain, bitterness and frustration." 

And he rebelled against everything that could disturb him 
or displease him in his fellow men. He tried to bend their 
characters and to extirpate their defects. 

It was there his second fight. 

Many years passed.

One day, as he was meditating on the utility of the attempts 
to change the others, he met the Old Wise Man who asked him: 

"What have you learnt on your path?" 

"I have learnt”, the Prince answered, “that the others are not 
the cause or the source of my joys and my punishments, my 
satisfactions and my setbacks. They are only opportunities 
for all of them to be revealed. 

It is in myself that all these things have their roots." 

"You are right,” the Wise Man said. “According to what they 
wake up in you, the others reveal you to yourself. Be grateful 
to those who make your enjoyment and pleasure vibrate. 

But be also grateful to those who create in you suffering or 
frustration, because, through them, life teaches you what 
is left in you to learn and the path that you still have 
to walk." 

And the Old Man disappeared.

A bit further, the Prince arrived in front of a door, on 
which these words were written:

"CHANGE YOURSELF".

"If I am myself the cause of my problems, it is indeed what's 
left in me to work on", he said to himself. 

And he began his 3rd fight. He tried to bend his character, 
to fight his imperfections, to abolish his defects, to change 
everything that did not please him in himself, everything that 
did not correspond to his ideal. 

After many years of this fight, in which he met some success, 
but also, some failures and some resistances, the Prince met the 
Wise Man who asked him: 


“What have you learnt on your path?" 

"I have learnt”, the Prince answered, ”that there are things 
that we can improve, others that resist to us and that we can't 
manage to break." 

"That's good!" the Wise Man said. 

"Yes”, the Prince went on, ”but I am beginning to be tired 
of fighting against everything, against everybody, against 
myself. Won't there be an end to it one day? When shall I 
find a rest? I want to stop fighting, to give up, to 
abandon everything, I want to let go !" 

"It is precisely your next lesson“, the Old Wise Man said. 
“But before going any further, turn round and behold the path 
covered." 

And he disappeared.

On looking back, the Prince saw in the distance the 3rd door, 
and noticed that it was carrying a text on its back, saying :

"ACCEPT YOURSELF."

The Prince was surprised not to have seen this writing when 
he went through the door, the other way. 

"When one fights, one becomes blind”, he said to himself. 
He also saw, lying on the ground, scattered around him, 
everything he had thrown away and fought against in him: 
his defects, his shadows, his fears, his limits, all his 
old worries. He had learnt then how to recognize them, to 
accept them, to love them. He had learnt how to love himself 
without comparing himself to the others any more, without 
judging himself, without reprimanding himself. 

He met the Old Wise Man who asked him: 

"What have you learnt on your path?" 

"I have learnt”, the Prince answered,” that hating or refusing 
a part of myself, it is to condemn myself never to be in 
agreement with myself. I learnt how to accept myself, totally, 
unconditionally." 

"That's good!”, the Old Man said, it is the first rule in
Wisdom. Now you can go back through the 3rd door."

He had no sooner reached the other side, that the Prince 
perceived far away the back side of the second door, on which 
he could read: 

"ACCEPT THE OTHERS".

All around him, he could recognize the persons he had been 
with all his life through; those he had loved as well as those 
he had hated. Those he had supported and those he had fought. 

But the biggest surprise of all for him was that now, he was 
absolutely unable to see their imperfections, their defects, 
what formerly had embarrassed him so much, and against which 
he had fought. 

He met the Old Wise Man again.

"What have you learnt on your path?" he asked him. 

“I have learnt”, the Prince answered, “that by being in 
agreement with myself, I had no more anything to blame in the 
others, no more anything to be afraid of in them. I have 
learnt how to accept and to love the others, totally, 
unconditionally." 

"That's good!", the Old Wise Man said. “It is the second 
rule in Wisdom. You can go back through the second door.” 

On reaching the other side of the second door, the Prince 
perceived in the distance the back side of the first door, 
on which he could read: 

"ACCEPT THE WORLD". 

“Strangely enough”, he said to himself, “that I did not see 
these words on the first time”. He looked all around him and 
recognized this world which he had tried to conquer, to 
transform, to change. He was struck by the brightness and 
the beauty of every thing. By their perfection. 

Nevertheless, it was the same world as before. Was it 
the world which had changed or the glance he had on it?

He met the Old Wise Man who asked him: 

"What have you learnt on your path?" 

"I have learnt”, the Prince said, that the world is a mirror 
for my soul. That my soul can't see the world, it sees itself 
in the world. When my soul is cheerful, the world seems cheerful 
to it. 

When it is overcome, the world seems sad to it. The world 
itself is neither sad nor cheerful. It IS there; it exists; it 
is everything. It was Not the world that disturbed me, but the 
idea that I had of it. I have learnt to accept it without 
judging it, to accept it totally, unconditionally. "

“It is 3rd rule of Wisdom”, the Old Man said. 
“You are here now in agreement with yourself, with the others 
and with the World.” 

A profound feeling of peace, serenity, plenitude, filled 
the Prince. Silence was in him.

"Now, you are ready to go past the last Threshold”, the 
Old Wise Man said, “the one that goes from the silence of 
Plenitude to the Plenitude of Silence ". 

And the Old Man disappeared. 

Have an excellent weekend!

Much Love,
Priya:))
Posted by Priya Deelchand :
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=16017&uid=339996970296

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Power of Persistence (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.


"We told them so."
"Crazy men and their crazy dreams."
"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Perhaps this is one of the best examples of a never-say-die attitude that overcomes a terrible physical handicap and achieves an impossible goal.

Often when we face obstacles in our day-to-day life, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others have to face. The Brooklyn Bridge shows us that dreams that seem impossible can be realised with determination and persistence, no matter what the odds are.

Even the most distant dream can be realized with determination and persistence.
Author Unknown
Posted by Priya Deelchand 

Monday, April 26, 2010

Get out of your comfort zone! (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

My dearest friends,

Hope you are all having a fabulous week! :))

Here is a poem I'd like to share with you today. I love reading it. A friend forwarded it to me some time back. The words are very powerful! Here it is!

I use to have a Comfort Zone
Where I knew I couldn't fail
The same four walls of busy work
Were really more like jail. 

I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor 

I said it didn't matter,
That I wasn't doing much
I said I didn't care for things
Like diamonds, furs and such 

I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone,
But ddep inside I longed for
Something special of my own. 

I couldn't let my life go by,
Just watching others win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
And let the change begin. 

I took a step and with new strength
I'd never felt before,
I kissed my Comfort Zone "goodbye"
And closed and locked the door. 

If you are in a Comfort Zone,
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt. 

A step or two and words of praise,
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile,
Success is there for you! 

So my dearest friends, get out of your comfort zone and do the things you've always wanted to do in your life! You will have a happier, more successful and fulfilled life!:))

Have a wonderful day!

Much love,
Priya:))

Posted by Priya Deelchand

Little Acts of Kindness (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

 My dearest friends,


Here is the story that I would like to share with u today!

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. It was a cowboy's life, a life for someone who wanted no boss. What I didn't realize was that it was also a ministry. 

Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and weep. 

But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town. 

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. 

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. 

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated". 

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me and address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?" 

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly. "Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice". 

I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked. 

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now." 

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. 

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. 

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse. "Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. 

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you." I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? 

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one. 

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. 

Have a fantastic day!

Much love,
Priya:))

Posted by Priya Deelchand

Your life is the result of the choices you make today! So, choose wisely! (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

 My dearest friend,

Hope you all spent an excellent week! :))

This is an old story that I would like to share with you today. Many of you may already know it but bit is always worth reading from time to time to remind us of the great life lesson it contains!

Here is the story. 

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. 

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career. 

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you." 

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well. 

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it differently. 

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." 

Who could say it more clearly? Your life today is the result of your attitudes and choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today. 

Wish you all a fabulous weekend!

Much love,
Priya:))

Posted by Priya Deelchand

Saturday, April 24, 2010

The Paradox of Our Time (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

My dearest friends,

Hope you are all enjoying your weekend!

Here is a great message that I would like to share with you and I am sure many of you must have read it before. The author is unknown.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways ,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Wish you all an awesome weekend!

Much Love,
Priya:))


Posted by Priya Deelchand on:

Friday, April 16, 2010

Get A Life - A Real Life! (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

My dearest friends,

Hope you are all doing fantastic.

Here is a great speech sent to me by my lovely friend Sangeeta Ramdin, that I wanted to share with you today.

This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD.

"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk or your life on a bus or in a car or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and them to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre, at my job if those other things were not true.

You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face.

Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived".

Have a great day and an excellent weekend!

Much Love,
Priya:))

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A Gift of Love (Posted by Priya Deelchand)

My dearest friends,


Hope you are all doing great!

Here is a wonderful and touching story that I would like to share with you today. I am sure many of you may already know it but the moral is great!

“Can I see my baby?” the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby’s hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. 

When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother’s arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks. He blurted out the tragedy. “A boy, a big boy … called me a freak.” He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. “But you might mingle with other young people,” his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart. The boy’s father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done? “I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured,” the doctor decided. 

Whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. Two years went by. Then, “You are going to the hospital, Son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But it’s a secret,” said the father. The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later he married and entered the diplomatic service. 

“But I must know!” He urged his father, “Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him.” “I do not believe you could,” said the father, “but the agreement was that you are not to know … not yet.” The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come … one of the darkest days that a son must endure. He stood with his father over his mother’s casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal that the mother had no outer ears. “Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut,” he whispered gently, “and nobody ever thought Mother less beautiful, did they?”

Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.

Wish you all an awesome day!

Much Love,
Priya:))

Posted by Priya Deelchand 
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=15846&uid=339996970296

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Power of Positive Talk

My dearest friends,

Hope you are all doing great! Here is a great lesson sent to me by my lovely friend, Sangeeta Ramdin that I would like to share with you today!

The Power of Positive Talk by Dr Abdul Kalam

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal . You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made
If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.
My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.
Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.
Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.
Notice when you or other people use them.
Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read that too much television makes people stupid." You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!

Exercise:
Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Have an excellent day!

Much Love,
Priya:))

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Acres Of Diamonds (Posted by Priya Deelchand)


My dearest friends,

Hope you are all doing fantastic!!!

Today I would like to share a wonderful true story written by the famous Earl Nightingale with you! It is the story of Russell Conwell, author of Acres of Diamonds.

One of the most interesting Americans who lived in the 19th century was a man by the name of Russell Herman Conwell. He was born in 1843 and lived until 1925. He was a lawyer for about fifteen years until he became a clergyman.

One day, a young man went to him and told him he wanted a college education but couldn't swing it financially. Dr. Conwell decided, at that moment, what his aim in life was, besides being a man of cloth - that is. He decided to build a university for unfortunate, but deserving, students. He did have a challenge, however. He would need a few million dollars to build the university. For Dr. Conwell, and anyone with real purpose in life, nothing could stand in the way of his goal.

Several years before this incident, Dr. Conwell was tremendously intrigued by a true story - with its ageless moral. The story was about a farmer who lived in Africa and through a visitor became tremendously excited about looking for diamonds. Diamonds were already discovered in abundance on the African continent and this farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of diamonds that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line. He wandered all over the continent, as the years slipped by, constantly searching for diamonds, wealth, which he never found. Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and drowned.

Meanwhile, the new owner of his farm picked up an unusual looking rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity. A visitor stopped by and in viewing the rock practically went into terminal convulsions. He told the new owner of the farm that the funny looking rock on his mantle was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found. The new owner of the farm said, "Heck, the whole farm is covered with them" - and sure enough it was.

The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine...the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on "Acres of Diamonds" until he sold his farm.

Dr. Conwell learned from the story of the farmer and continued to teach it's moral. Each of us is right in the middle of our own "Acre of Diamonds", if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures. Dr. Conwell told this story many times and attracted enormous audiences. He told the story long enough to have raised the money to start the college for underprivileged deserving students. In fact, he raised nearly six million dollars and the university he founded, Temple University in Philadelphia, has at least ten degree-granting colleges and six other schools.

When Doctor Russell H. Conwell talked about each of us being right on our own "Acre of Diamonds", he meant it. This story does not get old...it will be true forever...

Opportunity does not just come along - it is there all the time - we just have to see it.

Wish you all an excellent day!

Much Love,
Priya:))

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Posted by Priya Deelchand